for t.c.

i thought of you once.
i loved you once.
i looked into your eyes. once.
and it never ended.

darkness

i knew i was heading into the long night
but a darkness darker than night had descended
the rear view went black
there was no looking back now
the lights died in dark that seemed to ooze
up out of the road
then the road too fell away
and i was falling through space
and time stood still like a hummingbird
i could hear the silence buzzing like the
wings of a bee
i let go of the wheel
there was nowhere to go
there was nothing i could do
the fall seemed endless
and then i was no longer falling
up or down backward or forward
i had finally arrived at the present
fixed alone content with my desire
for you

woman

my exiled flight in your symmetrical gaze
makes its bed suddenly always it is always
suddenly
in the sky without fluttering
a solitary hour leaps over the limits
of my children's soil
born blind under a hard rain
you brought me a metalic cup of yellow smoke
for my militant imagination my inner thirst
unfolding in the snowbound wrinkles of patience
your starry poppies for my chilled bloodstone
opened my hard heart between highways
hand in hand
with its mineral aroma
lonely dreamer adrift in the infinite present
i am not the wall around us
nor the translucent birds at the feeders
there is a darker forest running away
with phantom beauty and the song of
obligations
i am not the ring encircling this century of noise
but somewhere underneath the surfaces
under the untouchable buildings of glass
we are the measured names
and the last straws
too late to deny
or ignore

silence is best

i get her 2 liners. the texts and emails.
the brief infrequent phone calls are a voice
in a plastic box on vacation
from anything impractical.
contact.
contact but nothing significant...
contact.
the briefer it is the less it says…
the more it does not say….
i respond: no comment…
sometimes silence is best.
*

weightless

the anxiety slashed me it curled me into a fetus of fear the fear cancered me
for years and then it killed me
many times
i am with you not of you
my pain is weightless
my thoughts a narrative of escapism
suicidal dance in the shadow of our rubbish
everything goes in the frenzy and the trance
the song and dance
of eatting corpse
i don't know how or why
but i fly downstream to the sea
and i don't stop there
i can hear you speak
to your self in your own voice
in your mind as you read
i think this is eternity
i don't want to die