I won't participate (1981)

I won't participate

as much as I possibly can!

that big mouth over there is murdering me

I've been saying the same thing all along

they taught us how to speak

the mission is to tether your will

to temporary relief

by crawling into their mouths

but I didn't know you could Yodel

goodbye to everything

I can go on like this for hours

when I have to mow the lawn

let's talk about the revolution

at first I didn't prefer playing alone

but it was always better than company

company was hard on my knees

all plans are contiguous

at least in the minds of victimologists

who watch time kill them and curse

I'm glad it came and I'm glad it went

(I'm not listening either)

the rains aborted the vapors

withered my nipples before my eyes

could refocus I spilled

the entrails of the bird and cat taffy

stick to the night

I'm still talking about evolution

the elixirs and portions

its just the bubbles that make you feel full

its funny though how you can ask without smiling

the birdsong is missing

its no picnic here

I don't know how to explain this once in a lifetime

your way or no way

and sheer fiction had never occured to me!

is this as close to real life as you can imagine?

I walk like a child with a man on his back

but never mind fat during polite conversations

Welcome! to you!

I'll be empty later...

there's nothing I can do about it!

are you the police?

*

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a long walk

down a short street...

and that's just the first line

of a long story...

voyagers on their own... seperate...

indifferent...

breaking the lord's arteries in vain...

making his wine bleed... and all that...

hey, maybe Seymour liked getting greased

beneath the virgin Mary?

Listen: a spurn got into your mother's moon...

and you just slid from her pit!

you can't be bitter about it

its in the damn gospels:

devils get into our relaxing... and fit

don't ever over~estimate the power of

humility

I dropped it like a bad habit

I danced on my back through school

they threw flowers over me... it felt like rain

and then they were gone

you look just like a little eraser anyway

when you're born

these doctors wouldn't know if you woke up

dead in utopia before its all over

like~minds think its great

those devils are working miracles

I'm alert.

but I am sedative to implications

childhood shoes never fit my vindictive behavior

they say: your premonitions of doom

are groundless

can we really communicate with the dead?

can we really communicate with the dead

at the Slaughtered Lamb?

I don't have much blood!

I didn't like that rubber cement I ate the other

day

I’m an amoral militant

I don’t dance

when I want to shake it up

I have a seizure

so shake the walls with drums!

screw the house to the sky!

your body breaks and grows weak...

you must learn to fly in your nightmares

to a place where pain reveals its own cure!

and that is the second line....

*

frankly

the sky in drops thanks you frankly

a sober sun

floats above a variety of solitudes

(holes in the white noise)

until her balloon gets stuck

in the thunder

who is mumbling

the city's torso is for sale?

a glamorous valentine with blue eyes

blinks

dropping the keys to the casino

inside a banjo

while

fond memories try to tango with a nocturne

and the fireworks melt

in their cages

the earth tortures good manners

under our feet

the hustler loves everyone’s concealed

destination in imagination

prise open up those theorists

hand and foot

the lucid edge between what should happen

and what won’t

will bring

the rose in the egg

through tears

to our eyes

In The Dark Garden

I was pissing in the dark garden

remembering

with my throat still raw from screaming

blood scoured my veins

I started to itch all over

each time I opened my mouth

a long veil wriggled in a little farther

I kept my foot on the brake all the way

as yolk oozed from my shoe

surface stretched

dark stains soiled my laughter

everywhere everything sounded the way

it looked

in accordance with legend

I hurled my eye with a David Sling

earth moved and I lengthened my stride

thinking: its just words...

can't mistake them for anything

real:

constitution pollution white trash mutation

with a mouth like an alarm clock crying daily

for sacked pillars and plastic fruit

or just kneeling under some porker's purse

bleeding

with dream silk slipping through our feeble thimbles

I kept mocking christmas trees in parking lots

beneath an unmastered metalic fly~eyed curse

I locked my backtalk in a time capsule but lost the map

and the schedule

I sowed my oats against the grain

under pressure from controlling interests

its all theater now

there’s nobody behind the curtain

this much is clear

my voice will never sound more human

the infinite ice

with abstract mannerisms
an impending ghost
waits in my shoes
standing idly at the devil’s gate
hinting
it must be up to some mischief
the soul’s voyage is sailing
in the opposite direction again
unseen my shadow kissed a veiled woman
(a loner sleep walking through a stranger’s dream)
her face is a flowering thunderhead
her heart a beating steel drum of delirium
the firebird’s ashes appear as a branch
of wormwood
it has ten thousand insects emerging from its darkness
it has the smell of an ocean rising above a cliff
it has five fingers of lightning on each tongue
each the size of a sparrow with the voice of a loon
the human logos gulled her wooden heart
the heart in the hands and feet of a tree
I talk to the beautiful machines
shoulder to shoulder
but bells are ringing in the text of my moods
under the influence
of the infinite ice
and I remain as I was
deaf and dumb