from confessions of an adult fetus

I never thought i would last this long... in the body of an animal.
*

I suddenly realize I wrote a lie to a friend in a letter recently, and I feel ashamed...
then immediately I realize shame is a hinderance to truth as well... luckily it was a insignificant lie....
*

my toys are my friends...
my friends are my toys....
*
Why should a child be forced to sit through adult conversation? Considering how vapid most of it is.... for that matter... why should any adult...?
*
I just remembered my death... the unspeakable pain I am to suffer in the future... and I feel bitter like an unjustly condemned man awaiting execution.
*
I walk into the hotel kitchen to get a work application for dishwashing... and I know immediately how gulliver felt when he washed up on the shores of Lilliput.
*
He was the most gifted artist I had met, with drawing skills that emerged by the age of 4. His early youthful etchings were full of "messages" and dramatic situations. Later he made only portraits... all drawn furiously, with great expression. I asked him why he made only portraits... not other subjects... and he said because he would have to spend too much time "thinking" about what was important to him... this way, he could just create without "wasting time".
*
Virtually all the artists I have met here are struggling to be recognized as artists by others, it is their common passion.... & their work shows the homogenous results of that common effort.
*
Imagination and creativity are lethal for society... as well as its agents.
*
Many years ago I decided against my body and in favor of imagination. And I grew old in a dream of life....
*
Christian consumers... Buddhist consumers... spiritualists on shopping sprees!
*
Heironymous Bosch... the only profound realist in all of western art. Like Christ, he knew "what was in men."
*
a number of us, artists squatting in a cinder block garage, are telling the landlord that we can't afford to pay more... that we are struggling artists... and he barks back: art is a hobby, nobody makes a living doing art! and we are dumbfounded, as if what we have dreaded all along is finally true because it was spoken out loud!
*

The most important art is hidden... the wisest artists are invisible.
*
Why would an artist repeat himself over & over & over? and call it... a style?
*

As soon as someone begins telling a joke... Istart worrying....
*
All i have left to do is to give up everything.
*
Isuddenly remember that I was born and that I don't know why.
*
I was many strangers older one minute into this storm
where men go mad. I just waved bye-bye... to myself
and cried: I AM NOT YOU!*