i am not laughing

what a joke everything is...
from orgasam to octave...
and an old joke at that...
and now what? now that old
what?
i can't even laugh at being
unable to laugh...
and i am not sad...
i ask my self living this
dying... what am i?
and nothing again
like an old joke
echoes the question
back...
old what no longer living
with its question mark...
i am beside myself...
i am not sad
and i am not laughing...